squeetus

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 9

A friend just texted me that while at girls' camp this week sitting around the campfire, on at least two occasions she heard girls mention Enna Burning. I spent a lot of time watching fire, finding new ways to describe it. I remember writing in Princess Academy after finishing this book in which there was a bonfire and I automatically started to delve into the description, giving the fire a gravitas that the scene didn't require before catching myself.

Hesel: I like her name. I always wished she could be a bigger character so I could write her name more.

Enna's rules: This was an important point in the story for me. The augury is a catalyst for her action. But she defines rules for herself to keep from going too far. Will she be able to keep them?

Alone outside on a winter night: There is something so poetic about this situation to me, transcendental even. Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening. That feeling of life and stillness, wonder in being somewhere inhospitable and the danger of it too. Magical, silent. 

Enna burns: I can't help but read this book like an author, examining my choices, and so far I approve. (that's a relief) I see this chapter as an essential step in the story's and Enna's arc. It's hard for me sometimes to risk analyzing the book, explaining each choice and why it had to happen, but I don't want to go down that rabbit hole.

This chapter was getting so dark...and then Razo! Hooray for Razo! He brings hope, a laugh, and a companion. Even the darkest books need moments of victory, some reason for the reader to hope, to care.

Catherine asks, "I've always found Enna and Finn an interesting pair, because they are so different. You mentioned before that in an earlier draft Enna was already married. Was she married to Finn or someone else? What made you bring Enna and Finn together? Was it always going to be that way?" I can't remember. There was the beginnings of something between Enna and Finn in The Goose Girl, but the note I had about Enna being married I made before I'd ever written a final draft of Goose Girl, and before it sold as young adult book. I never wrote a draft with her married, it was just a note in an outline.

Lindsey asks, "at the beginning of the chapter we learn that unlike Enna and the rest of Bayern, Isi does not necessarily believe that the augury will determine the outcome of the war. Although Enna points out that such things might only have power in Bayern. Do you believe that, within the bounds of Bayern, the augury really does have magical powers over the outcome of the war? Or is it just an old superstition, which by some fluke may or may not prove to be accurate (maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of thing)?" I purposefully didn't decide. I thought as the narrator I had to remain impartial. I know that Enna believed it and Isi did not, and I would not pick sides. Maybe that sounds silly but I made a real effort to keep myself from deciding what was true.

I really appreciate all your comments! Thank you! What wonderful readers you are to write for.

 

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 8

The augury: The initial idea for an augury came from my study of the Roman historian Tacitus writing about the early German people. Here's his description of a war augury:

"They have also another method of observing auspices, by which they seek to learn the result of an important war. Having taken, by whatever means, a prisoner from the tribe with whom they are at war, they pit him against a picked man of their own tribe, each combatant using the weapons of their country. The victory of the one or the other is accepted as an indication of the issue."

Some notes I found in my 2nd draft outline about the augury:

Time passing. Finn. Encounter other forest workers. What pushes her into arson again?

Maybe make a couple of characters from the enemy camp. Enna sees them when they parlay with Geric. Runs into one at night when she goes about setting fire to enemy camps.

First time Enna sets fire to person, something in her breaks, something she was holding back and it gets harder.

Finn’s fight in war augury helps forest folks gain legitimacy.

Here are other notes from either an earlier or later outline, I can't actually tell:

Learns how to use it, starts to want to use it, leaves camp because the desire is consuming, gets caught by Tiran scout party and burns her way out, Sileph is there, and it feels good to her, but still she resists until augury.

After augury, occurs to her how to fight

no tension between E&I until after augury, E has to hide it from I. then guilt develops. Also, doesn’t tell her because she’s afraid I would take her to Yasid and take away her knowledge.

Finn: The sweet Forest boy. He who cried when bringing Enna the feathers of her slain chicken. I hated having to put him through this story, to make him change as he did. Authors are cruel. But the story is always more important than what's best for the characters.

"She would save Bayern": She's all in now, baby. Enna has her mission. She is going for it. And my recommendation? Do not stand in that girl's way.

Heather asks, "How do you think of your characters? Are they just descriptions and actions on a piece of paper, or like imaginary friends, or do you think of them as real people, or what?" They do feel really real in my mind, in that once I've spent many drafts with them and fully developed them, I know how they would react to most anything. I know what they would say and how they would say it. I know how they would feel about whatever changes would come, in a way that I don't always know about real people, even my own children. Once they're developed, I can't change them. Only a story can change them, the way the war and Enna's overheard talk in the market changed Finn.

Viola asks, "Is Razo's character your favorite type to write, or do you like searching out and discovering the more difficult characters?" Easier is always better! But there is definitely a satisfaction to having labored long with a story and a character and then to finally get it right. Forest Born is that way for me. I feel so happy about that book now, so proud, even though during some drafts I wanted to give up writing entirely.

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 7

Enna as warrior: Looking back at my first draft, I didn't have Enna's encounter with the Tiran scouts from last chapter or this scene with Finn and Razo practicing swordplay. A scene like it took place later. This section was the most difficult of all the book, though the book generally was a tough nut to crack. But figuring out Enna's arc in part 2 was tricky, how the power builds, what events help shape it, how she feels about and reacts to those events, where her relationships are with the others.

My sister died in a car accident just over 11 years ago. (I was probably on draft 6 or 8 of Enna Burning at the time.) It was rough, and a month later Dean and I took a last minute trip to Thailand. I needed a change of scenery. For the whole week I managed not to think about much. But I remember in the airport waiting to fly home, sitting down with a notebook and talking through with Dean the events of part 2, trying to break these chapters, figure out what needed to happen and when. I'd rested. I was still heartbroken. But I was ready to start writing again. Rewriting is problem solving. I couldn't bring back my sister. But I could solve this problem.

It's hard to explain why some books are trickier than others. Sometimes I just start wrong (Calamity Jack). Sometimes the character is so quiet, she takes a long time to tell me what her story really is (Forest Born). Often it's because I'm trying to write a book I don't know how to write yet. Enna Burning is not a traditional structure. Although I'm playing with some strong archetypes, it's not quite like any other book I've written or read.

The amazing, prolific, ground-breaking Jane Yolen read Goose Girl when it first came out and praised it on her blog, which I read regularly at the time. I was so gleeful. Then a year later, she posted that she was reading Enna Burning. (I just tried to google that post and couldn't find it, but from my memory...) She wrote she was in the middle of the book and thought the writer had gotten herself into a place she wasn't going to be able to write herself out of, and that she wasn't as much a fan of this book as the first. I was heartsick.

I met her for the first time some years after that. As we talked, she said she liked my books, and I said I'd seen that she hadn't been as pleased with Enna Burning. (can you believe I said that? I hope it came up naturally in the conversation! I can't remember.) She said, oh no, only when I was in the middle of the book. But you pulled it off.

In an interview last year, Jane Yolen named Enna Burning one of her favorite novels. (I just found this while googling for that blog post! Jane Yolen rox.)

#brag #braggin #shamlessbraggingbragbrag

My point of all that was to say, I think in some ways, this is a writer's book. It's kind of been my black sheep. But for whatever reason, more writers seem to like it. If you don't, that's not to say you're not a writer. I've just found that of this book's ardent fans, most seem to be writers themselves. Maybe we enjoy watching other writers take on impossible stories and walk that tightrope.

Esa asks, "On your website (I think) you said that the title "Enna Burning" has a slightly different meaning in each of the four parts of the book. Did you think about the four different meanings when the book was separated into the four parts, or did you only realize what each part meant later?" I didn't name the book till late, but I did split it into these four named parts fairly early. Part of the reason I loved the title Enna Burning once I thought of it was because how it played with the meaning of the part titles differently.

Sally asks, "do you ever feel that Razo snuck his way into the story for the comic relief side of things?" THat's possible, I can't remember. What I do remember is when I was struggling in rewrites, I realized I didn't fully understand Enna's relationships with some of the characters, except with Razo. I always knew what their friendship was. I always knew how he stood with everyone. He is such a refreshing character to write because he doesn't hide things from me. Razo is Razo.

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 6

Part Two: Warrior: Like Goose Girl, Enna is split into parts, though four instead of three. I have them in my robust outline (the one that I made as I worked, more in detail than my original). I felt the story arranging itself into these parts and wanted to call that out with the part names Sister, Warrior, Prisoner, and Friend.

Lyrical language: When Goose Girl came out, several reviews praised its "lyrical language." I was finishing up Enna Burning at the time and the reviews made me nervous. Somehow I had managed to write lyrical language in Goose Girl and people would expect that in Enna Burning too. But I didn't think this book was lyrical and was sure everyone would be disappointed. Reading this chapter, I think I was always a lyrical writer and just didn't know it till the reviewers said it.

Fire: I spent so much time thinking about fire, observing it, reading about it, watching flames. After writing Goose Girl, I thought I knew what fire-speaking would be, but not till I was writing the story did I have to really work it out in detail and understand. I like to be able to believe that whatever is magical in my books is actually possible.

Enna & Isi: I hope everyone has a friend like Enna at their side.

Recently I read an article that bemoaned the lack of female friendships in YA literature. I thought through all my books and couldn't come up with one that didn't have at least one strong female friendship, as well as male friendships and female/male friendships. I didn't do this intentionally. I hadn't thought about it before, but clearly friendship must be important to me.

Enna's fire-speaking: I'm curious, in this chapter are you rooting for Enna to give in and embrace the fire-speaking or are you rooting for her to resist it?

The Tiran tent: Whew! That was exciting. I'd forgotten about that scene. I liked it when she booted the soldier in the head. Does that make me bad?

Eliza says, "One time I told my brother to read a story of mine "until you get bored". Forty nine pages in, he handed it back. "I'm bored now." I read over that page and realized he'd stopped at the first death scene. Gasp! What was I thinking, letting my sweet eleven year old brother read a book with a gory decapitation scene? When I asked him why he stopped, he told me, "Only one person dies in the first fifty pages. Usually someone dies in the prologue."" When adults worry about too much violence in children's books, I appreciate their concerns. I'm not a fan of violence. But I also think children read stories differently than adults with experience. They don't visualize the violence. It doesn't enter them. Books are gentler that way than movies. Our minds only show us what we already understand.

Carlie says, "I gave birth to my first baby six months ago, and I can't now read certain things without becoming emotionally invested (and often crying). My husband has suggested I stop reading the news. (And why did I think it was a good idea to reread "Walk Two Moons"?)" Yeah, I'm the same. Much more sensitive after children. Any child that gets hurt is my own.

Anna asks, "What was your favorite part about writing Enna Burning?" Honestly? The burning. It was fun to find the words for it. Also the relationships: Enna with Isi, Finn, and Razo.

Audrey says, "Finn is a wonderful character and I love how he's one of the Forest Born shown to understand what a battle means. The contrast between him and the younger boys playing at swords is stark; I can only imagine what sort of things were going through his mind during this chapter." Yeah, those boys playing swords before their first battle kinda killed me, but it also felt so true. Thanks about Finn. As a writer, I should be able to write the entire novel from any of the character's POVs. I should understand all the characters enough that the reader can guess what the others are thinking, imagine their internal story, even if I don't reveal it.

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 5

Isi: Some readers of Goose Girl have told me they were disappointed in Isi's portrayal in this book. She found a strength in Goose Girl and in this book she seemed weak. But she never seemed weak to me. She has power, and sometimes there are consequences to power. But I still find her remarkable.

Enna's brother: Ooh, found some early notes that had Enna’s husband (instead of her brother Leifer) discovering the vellum and fire-speaking. Interesting! I’d forgotten that originally I’d thought she got married and moved back to the Forest. Now I can’t imagine it that way.

The first battle: I think originally I thought this scene would be the midpoint of the book, but I have an outline that splits it into the four parts it is now, so I think I realized before too long that this battle was the catalyst for Enna's story, not the midpoint.

The king: I know we didn't know him well, but I was very sad to lose him. He didn't die in my original outline, but he does in the first draft. A story must always raise the stakes, make the choices that will most challenge the main characters.

War: The descriptions of killing are a bit brutal. But in a book about war, I don't want to be responsible for glamorizing violence. This book has been criticized for being too graphic. It may be for some, and I totally respect that response. But I'd rather err on the side of truth. War is graphic. I don't think the description is sensationalized. If anything, I resisted going into too much detail.

The ending of this chapter gave me chills. If I don't have a reaction to the writing, I can't expect my readers to. Enna Burning is probably my most dramatic book. I was an exquisitely dramatic and romantic teenager. This story really speaks to that part of me. I dug in and went all out. I know this book made many uncomfortable, being too dark for some. Those who told me that, however, were all adults, usually mothers. I finished the final draft of this book before I gave birth to my first child (literally one week before) and I’ve wondered how different this book might have ended up if I’d been a more sensitive, less dramatic mother when I wrote this, rather than a young woman channeling my teen self.

Lily asks, "Would you say research is always vital when writing a novel? I have a hard time knowing where to look for what I want, so tend to push research aside." Yes, it's always vital. I tend to do minimal research before I begin. After I have a draft or two, I do more research, allowing the needs of my story to direct the research. I don't write non-fiction or historical fiction, where the research directs the story.

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 4

The Forest: Yesterday I went up a canyon here in Utah to make campfire tinfoil dinners with my family. We hiked up slender trails that crisscrossed the mountainside, completely in the shade of the close growth evergreen forest, dark trunks and gray-green spines. The ground was thick with the pale green of low-light plants, some sprayed with tiny white flowers. My niece had just finished reading The Goose Girl in a hammock. I told her that the mountain forest here was what I'd visualized when writing Bayern's Forest. Reading this chapter here reminds me of that again, "the groaning, beating, swaying, and creaking voice of the forest."

Geric calls the hundredbands: As I read this, I find I can't remember anymore the process, why hundred-bands (was it research? The Roman historian Tacitus's writings on Germania?). Did this scene of a prince calling to the Forest people invoke in my mind a scene from another book? A piece of history? Did I make it up from nothing? Some things I recall and some I don't. I know a (much different) version of this was in the first draft so this scene always felt important to me.

I found that Shakespeare quote! It's from Trollius and Cressida: "'There were wit in this head, an 'twould out;'
and so there is, but it lies as coldly in him as fire
in a flint, which will not show without knocking."

Enna's age: just read a note that originally I thought her age 22-25. This was in the first draft before Goose Girl sold as a children's book. I'd thought Ani originally 19 when she left home. I changed that to 16 I think. And my editor advised me instead of Enna Burning taking place 5 years after Goose Girl it was only two years in order to keep them teenagers. When I was writing The Goose Girl and then the first draft of Enna Burning, I was unfamiliar with young adult literature, which had sprung up in the decade after I graduated from high school, so I thought I was writing fantasy novels for adults, although I remember thinking that I wanted to write something that I would have loved from ages 10-16 (my best reading years) as well.

Libby asks, "How come Conrad is cut completely from Enna Burning?I mean he did play an important part during the good girl, and then just magically appears again in river secrets." He went the way of Ratger, Gilsa, and others. Razo and Finn were so important to this story, others like Conrad just couldn't be squeezed in. I know many were fond of him and wanted more of his story. I've had many requests for a Conrad book. But so far he just hasn't been as insistent to me for a story as, for example, Razo was.

Elsbet asks, "You said you based the names in your book mainly on German names, yet both Enna and Finn are Gaelic, did you do that purposefully, or not?" I found most of the Bayern names on lists of medieval German names. Names tend to float around, be traded between languages and cultures. Mostly I chose them because I liked how they sounded and they felt "Forest" to me.

Jess-ica asks, "I noticed when reading Enna Burning again that in this book it says she's 16 and Isi is 18/19 (2 years after GG where she was 16). In Goose Girl I always assumed they were the same age. Was there a particular reason for having Enna younger? Was she younger in your mind in Goose Girl too? Is 18 considered too old for a YA main character?" Yes, exactly. That was an editorial decision and one I didn't mind changing. People mature at such different rates (especially girls) that I was comfortable making her younger.

Rebecca says, "I love scenes with Geric and Isi. How comfortable they are with each other and how you can tell that as happy as Isi is to see Enna it's not until Geric enters that Isi relaxes. I feel the same way with my husband. Everything is just better when he is there...even if he is messing up the words to one of my favorite songs. ;-)" This chapter has some nice little bits between Isi and Geric. Even though this book isn't their story, I think it's nice to see where they are now, two years later.

Audrey on the last line of chapter 3: "now that I've read the book through more than once the last line is even more steeped in its intended uncomfortable-ness. It reminds me of things to come, and I involuntarily shudder at the memories more NOW then I did the first time I read the book." Foreshadowing! Foreshadowing! There is a pleasure in rereading a book, isn't there? One reason I do as many drafts as I do is for the rereaders. Honestly a 3rd or 4th draft of my books might be as enjoyable to most readers as my 12th draft, but it takes 12+ to polish a story down to each word so that it stands up to the scrutiny of the noble rereaders!

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 3

Ratger: Looking over my first draft, instead of meeting Isi in the market, Enna went to the palace and had to wait in the marketday queue for those wanting to see the king. She's belligerent and gets turned away until Ratger sees her and lets her in. I liked Ratger from Goose Girl and intended to make him a larger character in this book. But Razo won the right for a more major role, and the story moved away from Ratger in later drafts.

So much cut: And I keep looking through this first draft, realizing how much I deleted. That's common for me. I can't ever find the right story the first time through. For every 300 page book I publish, I've deleted another 900 pages of material. Just because I typed some words doesn't mean they're worth reading. I need to always keep myself open to trying it a different way.

the treasury: this scene reminded me of something I'd read as a child. I'm having a hard time remembering. Maybe it was from Prince Caspian? Or perhaps a scene in Hero & the Crown. Anyway, everything I've ever read is in my brain somewhere and inspires what I write.

Isi is not superstitious: She's a very practical thinker. Enna is the opposite.

Avlado: The name of Isi's horse. The word "Falada" means "spoken" in Portugues, and Avlado is a play on "hablado" which is "spoken" in Spanish.

Anna asks, "Did Isi have a bond with Avlado like she did with Falada?" Yes, she did. Is that right? Honestly it's been so many years since I last read Enna Burning I can't remember if the bond was a little different.

Rebecca says, "Personally, I think Embo sounds like a great future husband. They are young and he is already responsible enough to have the foresight to provide for his bride." I agree! I'm much more practical than Enna is.

Carlie asks, "How do you make up character names that feel so real and represent so well where the person is from?" The Bayern names I took from lists of old German names. The Forest names I wanted to have a similar feel, so I just found names (and made up some) that felt right. There's a passage in Forest Born about how the Forest names tend to rhyme and alliterate.

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Chapter 2

Enna & Leifer: First, I misspelled Leifer's name the first time I just wrote it. And then the second time. You'd think I could spell my own character's names. I had a twitter discussion recently about what a terrible speller I am.

Anyway, the beginning of this chapter reminds me about how important relationships are in a story (and life!). A character is, fundamentally, their relationships with others. No one lives in a vacuum. This conversation would have gone very differently if Ani had been Leifer's sister, or anyone. If ever I feel like I'm losing understanding of who my character is, I put them in a conversation with another character and develop their relationship. Even if I don't keep that conversation, it's instructive to me in understanding.

"smarts in your head like there's fire in a flint": I think this is a paraphrase of an idea I read in a Shakespeare play. I can't remember which one!

"Embo's been cutting and storing wood for our house for a year": A small detail, but one I wouldn't have known if I'd tried to write this book 10 years earlier. It wasn't till I lived in Paraguay that I learned that people who build houses outside a bank and mortgage system would gather and store materials for years before beginning. I wanted to be a writer since I was 10, but I personally believe a person needs some life experience as well as time to develop the craft before getting good at it.

The orange egg of the omen: In the outline, I hadn't thought to include Razo. But he always worms his way in. In the first draft, he didn't show up till later chapter, almost as an afterthought. But as the story continued, he became more and more important. So as I revised, I thought I should introduce him earlier. And in a memorable way. Looking back at Goose Girl and the pranks Enna and Razo used to play on each other gave me this idea.

Isi: In Goose Girl, the narrator referred to her as Ani, since Isi was her alias she only named to the forest workers well into the book. But this is from Enna's POV, and I decided that Enna would think of her as Isi, and then so should the narrator.

Anna asked, "I've always wondered why Leifer wanted the fire speaking!!" I don't think he could know what it was when he read the vellum. Once he learned the secret, he gained the ability. It's the nature of fire to want to survive, to spread. I hesitate ever to interpret my books for people. I don't want to be the authorial voice of authority, so I won't say much more but pipe up anyone else if you have an idea.

Squeetus summer book club: Enna Burning, Prologue & Chapter 1

Join me weekdays in July for discussions of Enna Burning. Feel free to ask questions in the comments. I'll try to keep each day's discussion spoiler-free for future chapters in case you are reading for the first time.

The Title: We went through many title ideas. The one I used in my initial outline in 2002 was Fire Speaker.

The map: You may notice the map is different in Goose Girl than here. I believe the artist misunderstood my initial drawing as it looks like the rivers just ended in the Goose Girl map, but here they are properly shown as ending in a river delta and the Rosewood Sea.

Prologue: I remember being so excited that I was starting a new book, for Mother's Day I printed up and gave my mom the prologue. And she was alarmed. This didn't seem anything like her beloved Goose Girl. After all, a woman dies at the end of this prologue! The first draft prologue is essentially the same as the final in structure and content, though few sentences are actually the same.

Enna: I chose to write Enna because I wanted to tell a story from the POV of a character who was very different from Ani, and Enna is very different from Ani. From the beginning of my career, I've always wanted to make sure I'm telling new stories. I never want to get in a rut.

"Enna let the fire burn out." This was the first line in my first draft too.

"You're not always happy here." Initially she was. Enna was content in the Forest and had no intention of ever leaving. But there was just no dramatic tension that way. An understandably common theme in young adult literature is the main character finding their place in the world, and if the character has already found it from the beginning, there's no journey needed. Otherwise, the plot is just stuff happening to the character, rather than the character moving forward, propelled by the action. Once I let go of that idea for Enna, not only the story but her character began making more sense.

Here's a paragraph from the first draft: Enna had lived for five years in the city and had cherished her time there, but mostly because others like herself surrounded her, their eyes also haunted by loneliness for the Forest. The city was a forest of towers and tottering houses and things that did not grow. Only this, she thought, feeling as though she could inhale the entire forest into her lungs, only this was home.

page break on 8: If I wrote this now, I'd start a new chapter there. But ten years ago, I preferred long chapters that felt like their own short stories. Not saying that one is better than the other, but each book reflects where I was then as a writer.

Finn: Finn!

"If I'm patient then you don't need to be, because one of us already is.": I think here Finn is already imagining they are a couple, leaning on each other's strengths and weaknesses.

pages 13-17: originally this section was very different. First, Finn didn't arrive in the story yet. Also, I was fond of the peace-keepers from Goose Girl and initially intended for them to be a large part of the story. In this chapter, Leifer called a meeting of peace-keepers and tried to incite them to action against the city, showing his power to them. But so many other things in the book pulled me away from the peace-keeper idea so later I cut them out entirely.

"Hearing and telling unbelievable stories makes it easier to believe when strange things happen": I think we're all well-prepared for the zombie apocalypse.

Burns: You know you're a writer when you burn your finger and immediately focus on the sensation and try to find the right words to describe it. I had no trouble describing Enna's pain. I'd practiced telling that story to myself every time I'd ever burned a finger.

Announcing the 2014 squeetus summer book club

Happy 10th birthday to Enna Burning! To celebrate, in weekdays in July I'll be hosting our annual Squeetus Summer Book Club, doing a chapter or two every day from Enna Burning. Read along with me. And feel free to ask questions in the comments. I'll try to answer them all in the next day's posts.

See also 2013's club posts on Goose Girl and 2012's club posts on Princess Academy.

ps. was amused by this Amazon review of Princess Academy: "This book is soft porn for the youth. We read as a family and all I can say is it was highly inappropriate. This is a classic gateway book to romance novels. For young impressionable teens I would exercise a lot of caution before purchasing. There are far too many wholesome, fun and fun loving books out there worth your time rather than this one." Um...

(ps. for those who haven't read Princess Academy, I don't think I'm being blind when I assert that there is nothing remotely soft pornish about it)

 

Squeetus summer book club: The Goose Girl, chapters 21 & 22

This is our last day together, my courageous squeetusers! Thanks for spending July with me and Ani. I'm happy that I actually enjoyed rereading this book and didn't find myself wincing or wishing for another chance to revise. Starting next week it's going to be lots of Austenland movie posts for the next month or so.

Selia

I think Selia is my favorite villain. I just get her, and she does such interesting things. She's so exquisitely dangerous without ever picking up a weapon. And she's such a perfect foil for Ani--so confident, decisive, and wild under her carefully controlled exterior. She scares me.

Listening behind the throne

This was inspired by the tale. The princess took an oath to tell no one, so the king asks her to crawl into an over and tell her tale there. He listens through a pipe and learns the truth. In the book, it made more sense for Geric to take more action than his father.

The forest workers join the fray

Okay, so when I read this part, and how they shouted "for the yellow lady! for the princess!" I teared up. I tear up often while writing emotional scenes. If I don't, I know I haven't done a good enough job yet.

Ungolad's death

This broke my heart. He really did love her so much. I'm more interested in my own story when I can care about and understand the villains too. He mattered to me.

As an example of how much I lean on revision, I thought I'd show you the ending from my first draft. In that version, the Forest folk didn't make it inside the estate. Wilder=Geric (who pretended to be a kitchen worker, not a guard at first), Pela=Enna.

She crossed the room slowly, carefully looking forward, avoiding the scenes of carnage that lay at her feet and made her eyes itch and the room tip unpleasantly. Already estate workers were rolling up the blood-spotted carpets. Ani followed them out of room, feeling rolled up and blood-spotted herself. No one stopped her.
She went directly to the gate, slipped outside its iron restraints, slumped to the ground and told the anxious companions all that happened, her trembling fingers touching her lips as though feeling the words of her mouth, testing their realness, keeping back the ones she did not want to feel.
“Then, Ani,” said Pela, her voice timid and sad, “all is well.”
Ani lay her head in Pela’s lap and wept with such strength that her face felt made of salt melting away and her sobs shook deep bones.
Kit crouched down and looked at her wet face with unabashed concern. “What is wrong, goose girl?”
“I don’t know.” Ani shook her head against Pela’s leg. “It’s all over and here I am. Where do I belong?”
At dusk, they were found by a white-haired house-mistress sitting on the ground outside the wall, a too-small and silent siege party.
“Look at this lot, and the night coming on.” She picked out Ani from among them and bobbed a curtsy in her direction. “Forgive us, my lady, but you were forgotten.”
“Yes,” said Ani, “the ones who would not forget me are dead, now. But it’s my fault; I should be more demanding now that I’m a princess again. Bring me food! Bring me wine! Dress us in silks and bed us in feathers!”
The woman looked at her in alarm and Ani smiled and shook her head. “A jest,” she said, “though, in truth, I wouldn’t mind a bed.”
They were each escorted to one and forgotten once again until morning declared its brightest in Ani’s blinding east window. She sat in a much too comfortable chair with her back to the light, letting its heat dry her just washed hair and sipping from an endless pitcher of juice. She was just thinking about skulking down the corridor in search of the others when her door was rapped and opened by a prim little man in shiny boots ready to take her to a conference with the king.

[blank space -- probably intended to fill it with a scene of Ani confronting the king]

She sat on the step beside Wilder and stared at her hands, as he was doing, as if they held all the answers.
“Thank you,” she said at last, “for stepping in, to save me.”
“No need. You were taking care of yourself.” He looked up at her and the clarity of his dark eyes struck her heart with a sensation of a wound touched. “Did you help me out there, in the middle of the fight?”
Ani hesitated, and nodded.
“That part will have to be told in the telling, for the sake of my honor, and yours. Thank you.”
He took her hand and touched it, this time without hesitation, but with wonder, running his fingers over the creases, merging his fingers with hers. She leaned her head against his shoulder with an ease and familiarity that surprised her, and she could not help grinning.
“You have a story I want to hear, goose girl.”
“And you have things to tell me, kitchen-man.”
He laughed. “This is a tale we will tell all our lives and our children will remember, that at our first meeting I took you for a lady, and you me for a dish-washer.”
“And anyone who sees you ride a horse won’t wonder…” He stopped her mouth, and his blush, with a kiss.

So brief and unsatisfying!

Jessica asks, "Ani changed so much over the course of the story - when you first started did you have a clear idea of who she was and what her character development would be? Or did she keep changing with each draft, finally emerging between the words?" I feel like characters are what they say and do, and that can only emerge through writing, so they change as the story changes for sure.

Thank you all for your thoughtful questions and comments. Thank you for giving my stories a place to call home. Smooches.

Squeetus summer book club: The Goose Girl, chapters 19 & 20

Bayern accent

There are more contractions when the Bayern speak than the Kildenreans. I just remembered in an earlier draft making that more obvious and doin' things like droppin' the 'g's in ing endings. It was too much.

Hundred-bands

That was also from Tacitus.

Enna tells the story of why the women go to war

I love this story. I read it somewhere, probably Tacitus, but I know it's historical. The few times I've retold it aloud, I've found myself choking up. I think it's just beautiful. So it was with real surprise that I received my first angry email (and have received many since) over this scene, calling shame for having ruined an otherwise clean book with this immoral story. Because the women bare their breasts, some readers were offended and thought it was inappropriate for young readers. Certainly everyone has a right to choose what will and won't work for them. But I don't find non-visual, non-sexual nudity remotely offensive. I am bothered by sexualizing the female breast in every instance. I am bothered by people telling me, my sisters, and other women who have breastfed our babies in public (covered up even) to stop. I believe over-sexualizing the female body contributes to rape culture. And I've never regretted including this story.

The reveal: Geric!

Many have told me they didn't suspect Geric was the prince, and that makes me happy. I love when I can give a happy surprise to a reader. Others have told me they suspected it from the beginning. Sometimes people will say, "I liked it even though I knew what was going to happen," or even say they didn't like the book because they predicted what would happen. I find this interesting. The idea that not knowing the ending is the only way to enjoy a story. I wonder if these kinds of readers never reread a favorite book or rewatch a favorite movie, or watch a movie adapted from a book they read, or read a book that's a retelling of a familiar story. I think there can be far more pleasures in engaging with a story or watching it unfold than simply having no idea where it's going to go.

But by the same token, some readers get upset when they don't know where it's going to go. If they were predicting a certain ending and I surprise them and they liked their daydreamed ending better, then they let me know the book was ruined for them. Ya'll are impossible to please! Which is why writers know that we can't write for you. If we tried, we'd always fail. We can only write for our internal reader and hope to find enough readers who are willing and happy to go along with the ride.

Savannah asks, "When you are writing a book do you always have the title in mind beforehand or is it something you come up with during the writing process?" Depends on the book. The Goose Girl was always that title. River Secrets I renamed from City of Rivers on the final draft.

Diana asks, "You've mentioned once or twice that you've contemplated and dismissed many Bayern book ideas. Because I am apparently a glutton for punishment and want to hear about books I'll probably never read... I'm curious. What concepts/characters have you considered?" I haven't necessarily dismissed them. I just have so many books I want to write it's hard to get to them all. Forest Born feels like a nice resting spot for me and Bayern for now. I may return one day.

Danielle says, "Often, I dread reading through fight scenes - sometimes it gets too technical for me, and I get bogged down by the amount of detail in them. But I've never experienced that in your books. I think that's because you always keep your focus on the story. While your fight scenes are realistic, they still hold true to the voice that your book began with, and so I'm not reading about somebody slashing someone or other for pages and pages, thinking "I wish this would be over already."' I feel the same way with lots of action scenes. I didn't really understand them always so I didn't feel like I could do them. I just had to learn to do them the way I'd want them to be I guess.