Boys and the Princess in Black

Twinkle Twinkle Little SMASH! The Princess in Black is off to an amazing start. It's currently on the New York Times best seller list and was named a Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year (see me and Dean in a short video interview) and an Amazon Best Book. We've been overwhelmed by parents reporting that it's become a favorite book at their house, with some precious children sleeping with it hugged to their chest. Yes, that sound you hear is me choking up.

I recently signed about 60 copies of the book for people in my neighborhood, which was a lovely experience. However, I noticed that the parents all asked me to sign the book for their daughters. I know these families so I knew that almost all of them also had sons in the book's age range. It reminded me again that adults are the ones who tell kids what they should and shouldn't be reading. I've met loads of 3-4 year old boys who don't think twice about wanting to read The Princess in Black. By age 5-7, however, they've been shamed for liking something about a girl, often subtly. If we don't give our boys books about girls (princesses even!) then we're quietly saying, these books aren't for you.

I have seen several times, right in front of me, dads shoo their sons away from my books.

"Are you sure you want to read something called Princess Academy?"

"Those are for girls."

Moms aren't usually so obvious. It's more subtle, like getting a book about a girl signed for "The Anderson girls" or "Mama's princesses" while a son lingers nearby.

About three years ago I got a bookcase for my son's room, and as I went through all our middle grade books, I found myself picking out the ones about boys for his shelves and setting aside the ones about girls for my daughter's, until finally I was like, wait, what am I doing?? It's so easy to fall into this trap. Parents are all trying our best. I know we don't mean any harm. But I hope that if I keep talking about this, we'll all become more aware. I believe reading books is one of the best ways to gain real empathy for people different from ourselves, and helping boys develop empathy for girls is a cause worth fighting for.

Comments

[SBlackburn]

Thank you for talking about boys and books again and again. It helped me to offer my boys more options in their reading, which I hope helps them to be better rounded individuals. Now my 13-year-old has read all of the Books of Bayern and Princess Academy books and enjoyed them. He has also told his younger brother (a 10-year-old) to read them too. My twin 6-year-old boys are getting the Princess in Black for Christmas. I think that they will love it, and I never want them to be ashamed for exploring "girl" books.

[Dena]

I only have girls, but I've noticed it goes both ways. When my daughter checked out a book about Ancient Egypt from the school library, she told me that none of her friends would look at it with her. She was told (from her friends) that it was a boy book and that girls don't like those kinds of books. It's been a struggle for her, but my husband and I keep telling her not to listen to her friends and read the books she wants to. If she keeps checking out books she's interested in, like dinosaurs, bugs, and superheroes, she'll be happier and smarter than if she lets other kids pressure her into reading something she doesn't really like.

[Amy @ Sunlit Pages]

I came to your signing at The King's English with my four boys (ages 6, 4, 3, and 6 months) and was happy to see several other boys there. All of my kids love this book, and I hope they won't get to the point where they're embarrassed to read it because it's about a princess. We're looking forward to the other ones in the series!

[Lauren Becker]

A few weeks ago you met my sister at your Annapolis signing and signed a copy of The Princess in Black for "Lauren". What you didn't know was that book was for me, a 41 year old mom of 4 boys. I've lost track of how many times we've read it. Thank you!