squeetus

Comfy on the left

I've only been driving in England for 3 weeks, but I was just watching a video of someone driving a motorcycle in the US, and my first thought was, "He's on the wrong side of the street! Look out!!!" Clearly I'm used to the left now. The first few times I drove, I chanted to myself, "stay left, stay left, stay left," and then as I approached a roundabout "yield right, yield right!" I'm proud to say I don't even have to chant anymore! Yeah, I'm pretty much a pro.

This is the video I was watching. I found out that Jared Hess directed it (Napoleon Dynamite director, and husband of Jerusha Hess, Austenland director). He directed a bunch of these "I'm a Mormon" videos. I like to watch them on Sundays while my babies nap. I don't know any of the people in the videos, but they remind me of people I know, so it's like having a visit from loved ones. Yeah, I miss my family. Thank goodness I have these babies to squeeze or I couldn't survive the seven weeks.

Babes in Austenland

Unexpected marvels

I am sitting in a camp chair in the shade of a large tree. I'm wearing comfy running shoes, one of three pairs of pants that fit this post-twins body (cargo pants), a t-shirt my torso twin Libba Bray gave me (Batgirl, Supergirl, and Wonder Woman), a brown cardigan I bought at a local TJ Maxx after realizing how chilly it is in England in the summer, and a brown hat because despite the chill I've been getting more sun than this ginger can handle. We're on a large estate, sitting beside a pond with swans and trout. In the distance I can hear the bucolic bleats of happy little sheep. A breeze shakes the leaves and brings the scent of water and trees. Fifty feet from me, two actors are dressed as characters I made up and speaking lines I wrote. I just had a sausage bun for "elevenses" followed by a mint KitKat. I'm wearing headphones, hearing those lines, and watching the scene play out on a tiny monitor, because there are thirty crew members between me and the actors. I am relaxed. So very relaxed. This experience has taken the word "idyllic" and reclaimed it. In the dictionary in my head, the definition of "idyllic" would read: "the state of watching Austenland being made into a movie in the English countryside, in the shade on a temperate day, post sausage bun and mint KitKat."

The only downside to all this is the separation from my family. I haven't seen Dean and my two older kids in nearly 3 weeks! Except on Skype of course. Oh bless you, Skype! And I'm away from my babies for long hours each day. But we have such a great time together in the mornings and evenings and weekends. I just eat them up, the most scrumptious babies.

This feels so incredibly decadent, all this time to myself, all this time in the English countryside, not cleaning a house or running errands or writing (though there is some of all of that). When I wrote Charlotte in Midnight in Austenland, I didn't realize how much we had in common, until now that I'm in Austenland and feel much as she did. I should be busy, be working, be diligently productive, not relaxing and enjoying myself and eating sausage buns!

I need to stop talking about sausage buns. I'm really not consumed by them. They are just one of those unexpected marvels I never imagined when I imagined this experience, like the tiny daisies and frogs in the grass, the crew coffee cart that makes hot chocolate with steamed and frothy milk, the  charming crew members like the production assistant with his deep British voice and endless tales of Africa, Scotland, and everything in between. And how I would feel to see my story play out before my eyes. I'm in awe of all this unexpectedness.

I don't deserve this! I'm a mom. I'm used to measuring my worth by my capacity to work hard and take care of everyone else! Maybe I'm a bit of a Marxist after all. But I'm determined not to waste this experience. And so I sit here in my camping chair under a tree, editing a book between takes, surrounded by an array of accents as diverse as the different flavors of syrup available at the coffee cart, welcoming this shifting breeze, merging so completely with it all that my own delight becomes just one of the unexpected marvels.

I'm such a stereotype

Today was a day off from the Austenland film set. My long-time teenage sitter Kayla needed a much deserved break. (Kayla came to England with me to watch my babies with just a few days notice after my mom, who was supposed to come, had to cancel last minute due to a health situation. I'm so sorry, Mummy! Dinah and Wren miss you!) Wren and Dinah and I played, danced, ate, and generally made each other laugh. They really are good company.

We went to pick up Kayla from her outing and on the way home saw a McDonald's. Okay, I know, I'm with you on this, I swear. I don't think I've eaten in a McDonald's since watching Supersize Me. Maybe there's something about being in a foreign country that makes the familiar (even the somewhat gross familiar) so appealing. We stopped and ate, and I loved it. I still don't regreat it. Honestly the food here has been quite good, I thought (besides an unfortate fish and chips experience). So there's no real excuse for stooping to McDonald's. Judge me if you will. I had the Big Mac combo. I ate every fry. (I did not, however, supersize.)

Yesterday we were on a walk and along the side of the sidewalk, thick blackberry brambles tangled into the trees and shrubs. They were full of early ripe berries. We filled up the stroller cup with them. It was slighly magical. And I guess a day full of slightly magical things adds up to something pretty profound.

Sausage buns and good fun

It's absolutely surreal to be sitting here in the English countryside, look up, and see one of my characters walking across the grass in dress and bonnet or breeches and boots. How did you get out of my brain?!

Sometimes people here apologize to me for how slow and tedious it must be to sit here observing take after take after take. I have felt many things since arriving--elation, exhaustion, fear, pride, loneliness, joy, insecurity, contentment, but never boredom.

It was a gray and drizzling day on set, but a very good day. The scenes were so fun to watch. At mid-morning, a lovely crew member brought around a platter of sausage buns and veggie pastry puffs. They were delish. Really, it's a lot like my normal life, people bringing me platters of hot snacks. You know, the life of a Utah stay-at-home mom. We shot a scene that could use a few extra extras, so they recruited four male crew members. They caused quite a riot when they showed up in full costume on set. The scene didn't require sound, which was good since we were all laughing so hard. What good sports.

What do I do on set all day?

That's a very good question. Mostly I watch. Sometimes from a standing position, sometimes from a seated position. Yesterday I stood for probably eight hours in total, and I felt sympathy for those full time standing jobs, like guard. Or store clerk. Or lamppost impersonator. I was achy! I slipped away from time to time to do some yoga stretches, and looked a complete nerd, no doubt. Today I had a chair, adn spent much of my day cozy.

I wear some "cans," (headphones) and watch a small monitor showing what the camera is filming at the moment. I don't get tired of it. After eight days, I still enjoy each take of each scene. Most of the time on a set is set-up time. Between takes, they reset cameras, etc., and that takes time. So I chat with others who are free at the moment. I've met some of the loveilest, funniest, most interesting people.

A set is a very interesting place where everyone has a place. It's cool to watch the crew, who are all experts in their area, moving around, wasting no time, working quickly and effieicently when it's their time to work. There's a performance going on without an audience. Everyone present has a job to do in a very specific area. Except for me. I am there to observe and approve. It's a highly professional envirnment. Every second costs a lot of money. No one wastes time. But there is a lot of down time for almost everyone between their jobs, so there's time to chat and get to know people. People! That's something I haven't seen a lot of in the past year. Except for baby people, that is. And those I see each morning and night after I come home. I love those baby people.

There are frogs in Austenland, too

Another great day of shooting. It was raining today, so we were shooting between cloud bursts. Some new actors on set today. It was the first day I really felt as if I was in Austenland. Literally. I have arrived. Strangely, I'm finding my personal experience more like Charlotte's (from Midnight in Austenland) than Jane's (from Austenland). Poor Charlotte. We're not much alike, and yet I feel very close to her now. MIA will be out in February. I wish I could share it with you immediately! I wish I could show you the movie immediately too! Impatience, behave.

The scenes where the actors improvise are my favorite. It's amazing to see the scenes I wrote played out with the words I wrote, but I know these lines so well, it's an extra treat to hear their improvised lines, like getting our own private movie. And these actors are so clever and funny, the things they come up with are wonderful. Who knows what and how much will end up in the final version, but it sure makes it fun to watch take after take, when you don't know what will come out of their mouths.

Lunch is catered. We all line up and pick one of 4 meals at a trailer. The cook hands me my plate and says, "There you go, darling." I told him, "You can call me darling every day." The next person in line was a bloke, and the cook handed him his plate, saying, "There you go, gov'ner." I sighed in pure bliss.

I caught a baby frog today. It was hopping along in the long grasses. Tiny daisies grow in the tangles of grass, too perfect to have been planted. I saw a swan with her cygnets. I watched a movie get made, and then I came home to two sweet babies. Some of you have said you're jealous. I hope not in an unhappy way. I'm enjoying every moment the best I can for you. Wouldn't you be disappointed in me if I wasted this experience?

One week of Austenland

Katharine commented last post, "This is the first time since their birth that you talk about each of the twins separately (Wren did this, Dinah did that). They seem more like separate people now than one entity called "the twins."" Ack, do I ever call them "the twins" on this blog? I never speak like that in person. I think we call them "the babies" or "the little sisters" at home. The Twins sounds creepy somehow. The not talking about them separately was on purpose though. They're quite separate for our family, but on this blog, I'm always shy about giving too much information about my children. I show photos of babies until they're 2 or 3, but i've never identified which is which. I'm cautious about what I reveal about my family here. I'm pretty open and will likely tell you and everyone everything, so long as it's mine to tell. But I don't want to impose on anyone else's privacy. I'm a terrific secret keeper. And I never want to put anything in writing online that would make my children unhappy when they get older.

By the same token, I have to be very careful what I reveal about the movie making. I cannot be a spy on the set, listening in on conversations, observing, and then reporting here and turning my blog into a tabloid. I didn't blog for a few days, partly because honestly there was no time. I'm on set about 12 hours/day without internet, and when I'm home, I want to be with my babies, and as soon as they're asleep, so am I. But also because I wanted to sit back and digest for a few days and figure out how to be a blogger in this circumstance. I want to share with you my personal experience making a movie, because it's so fun for me and so unique! But I'll need to do it carefully, without reporting on what anyone else does or says. Should be a challenge! I'm up for it.

Please don't mistake my reticence for judgement. I'm extremely pleased with everything going on. And if you see me in person, I will no doubt gush for hours about an actor or prop or scenery or anything.

Keep your questions coming in the comments and I'll answer whatever I can. In response to some, yes, I have met some of the actors. After one very cute and sweet actor shared some chocolate with me, I felt I had to report it to my husband, because hey, he was cute and British and he gave me chocolate! There has to be some infidelity involved there. Dean of course was very understanding. He trusts me, of course, but I imagine he also feels secure knowing that he could beat up any of them if the need arose. Which it won't. (This cracks me up about guys--ask a guy you know if when they enter a room, they automatically take stock to see who they think they could beat up and who they couldn't. Seriously, I've been surprised by how many men do this!)

This is the first time I've had by myself, to just sit and be, for over a week. Babies are napping, Sunday off. It's nice. And it's nice that tomorrow I get to return to "work" again. Hey, after being virtually housebound for the past year, going anywhere is magical. But when "anywhere" is the Austenland movie set in England, I've been grinning so hard my cheeks hurt.

Route: taken; Scenes: filmed; Hair: frizzed

With a print out of Google maps directions to clarify the route, I avoided the pitfalls of my evil GPS mistress and made it to set without incident today. AND the babies slept from 10 pm till I left in the morning, only waking twice in the night and going back to sleep fairly quickly. The second time I woke up to their noises and went into them, Wren was hands down, feet down, head down, bum up, the top of her head against the crib floor, looking back through her legs. Dinah was sitting up and sucking on her binky, calmly playing with a blanket. Oh, those girls! Those wonderful baby girls! When I got home from set yesterday, they'd been sitting on the floor singing songs and playing with our Kayla. When they saw me, they made loud screeches and grunts and sped-crawled toward me. It's an uncanny and marvelous sight, two babies crawling at you as fast as they can go. And when they got me, they pulled on my hair and ears and clutched my neck as if they just couldn't get enough of me. There's no love like baby love.

Really enjoyed watching the filming today. Amazing how I can see the same scene over and over again from different angles, different takes, and still enjoy it.

In darker news, apparently my voltage converter doesn't work, because my flat iron completely fried my hair. After washing it last night, I'm convinced it's a loss. I'm going to have to chop it all off, Rapunzel-style. I wonder if I there's someone on set who can do it for me. I normally have fine, very straight and usually quite soft hair. Now I look like Hermione Granger on a bad day. Sans the Hogwarts robe. And fine cheek bones and chin. And witch powers.

Austenland set, day 1

This morning I set out for my first day on set. I wanted to be on time. After all, I'd flown across the Atlantic, said goodbye to my husband and two children and carted along two babies all for this. I studied the maps, preprogramed the GPS, looked over the route several times. And I'd spent the last 3 days driving as much as possible so I'd be acclimated to driving on the left side of the road (and right side of the car). I couldn't leave too early. Given that my babies don't go down until 10 pm and are up for long stretches during the night (just a nap, if you don't mind, thanks, mum, now we're quite chipper) I needed to try and sleep as long as possible. My GPS said it would take 30 minutes, so I left at 7:30 am, to be there by 8 am.

I wish I could see a map showing the route I took. It should at least be good for a laugh. I tried to follow the instructions from the chirpy British lady, I really tried. I took the turns I thought she wanted. About 25 times during the trip, I got that "recalculating." When I was about 10 minutes away, I took a turn, and it changed to 30 minutes. I got 10 minutes away again, took a turn, and it jumped back up to 30 again. And again. And again. And again. I swear someone was just screwing with me. Somewhere someone hacked into my GPS and just sent me in loop after loop. It was like being caught in an episode of the Twilight Zone. The farther I drove, the farther away I was. I tried to laugh. I tried crying. I sang hymns to lower my blood pressure. Sometimes it worked. There were moments when I almost believed I'd entered some version of hell and would never get off the freeway. I wondered if God was trying to teach me some metaphor about my life. There had to be a reason for this insanity!

TWO AND A HALF hours later, I arrived.

It was worth it.

I got to meet crew, chat with the production designer, the line producer, the UPM, Stephenie, and other cool crew members. (This crew ROCKS!) I sat in a chair (it wasn't mine, but I got to use it anyway), put on headphones, and watched characters I invented speak lines I wrote. I laughed out loud at one point at the way Keri delivered a line and will have to be very careful in the future or they'll ban that unprofessional writer from the set! But it'll be hard because it's funny, and these actors are so great. Molly (Jane's best friend) is played by the gorgeous and so funny Ayda Field. Oh you guys, I'm so excited! Can I freak out a little? Can I just get majorly giddy and excited and squeal and jump around? I mean, as long as they're not filming a scene and I'm far from set. Because I'm a professional crew member and never make a peep.

I haven't met any of the actors yet, and who knows, I may not. I don't want to bug anyone. I caught a glimpse of Keri Russell and Bret Mackenzie.

Oh and guess what? I HAVE MY OWN TRAILER!!! It's actually a third of a trailer, but it's MINE! This is a thing I never imagined in my wildest dreams. Maybe that's a silly thing to freak out about, but when they told me, I almost started to cry. It has a little desk and a love seat (a casting couch, if you will) and a little toilet, and maybe someday I can bring my babies on set and they could take a nap in there. I'm in heaven, y'all! After two and a half hours circling in hell, I'm in heaven.

As I wrote that, a very handsome production assistant (who has the most charming, deep British-accented voice) just handed me a binder of schedule, script, etc, and said "It has all the bits and bobs in it." I could die right now.

As I write this, I'm aware that someone will be offended by this post, because someone always is offended by every post. I don't mean to sound braggy. I know how unusual this situation is, how lucky I am. And I think I would be ungrateful not to enjoy every moment, every bit and bob. And so I shall, mates. So I shall.

From jolly old England

Yes indeed! Jennifer Coolidge is the only actor I've had in mind while writing a character. I started Austenland before I first saw Best in Show, but she was so brilliant in that role, I began to revise Miss Charming in the novel with her in mind. If ever Austenland became a movie, I thought, I hoped she would play the role. What a dream!

A couple of other cast announcements:

Georgia King - Lady Heartwright

Ricky Whittle - George East

I am in England now. The babies were  troopers on the flight. I am so proud of them! On the overnight portion, they slept for most of the time, one in a car seat and one in my arms. The angels! When I got on, I saw the looks of terror on other passengers' faces as I came down the aisle with two babies. But they had to admit at the end that the babes were "good as gold," as one man said. Today they're pretty cranky. "Why is it so bright outside? Isn't it 4 am? What's the matter? Did the sun explode? Is the universe ending? We're all going to DIE!!!"

We'll acclimate. It's rough on babies, but I couldn't leave them, of course. They're only 9 months. Too early to be apart from Mama. A young family friend came with me to help and take care of babies while I'm on set. I had to leave my hard-working man, my 7 yo, and my 4 yo at home. The pain! At least we can exchange videos, and boy howdy, do I love Skype.

Dear Burglars,

I may be in England, but my house is not vacant. It is well-guarded, and there's nothing of value in there anyway. I swear. Unless you're in the market for some baby toys. Also my husband is large and strong and he would be really mad if you broke into our house, especially if he was there at the time. Which he will be. Waiting for you.

Dear Kidnappers,

I may have left my two kids behind, but they are well-guarded too. And even though I'm making a movie, note that it's an INDIE movie. I am not now nor will I be a millionaire or remotely close, so I will not be able to pay you a ransom. So you really don't want to waste your time with my kids. Also, I've trained them to pee on strangers.

The simple beauty of a perfect cast

Whew! It's so nice to be able to talk about this at last! If you're not interested in movie making or screenwriting or Austenland, then avert your eyes from this blog for the next couple of months. I will tell all that I can! I will NOT be revealing things I shouldn't, such as exact locations of the filming, etc. But I got the go ahead to say who is playing which character.

Jane - Keri Russell
Nobley - JJ Feild
Martin - Bret Mckenzie
Miss Charming - Jennifer Coolidge
Colonel Andrews - James Callis
Mrs. Wattlesbrook - Jane Seymour
Mr. Wattlesbrook - Rupert Vansittart

EDIT: I forgot to add Rupert Vansittart and have corrected that. There is no Sir John and Aunt Saffronia, Mr & Mrs. Wattlesbrook merging those roles. It was the right choice for the adaptation to screen.

Isn't that a gorgeous cast? I'm so thrilled! If there is anyone you aren't familiar with and you read my blog, then you shortly will be. I'll devote a post to each of them over the next few weeks. The actors playing George East and Lady Heartwright (she got bumped up to "lady" in the screenplay) weren't mentioned in the official announcement, so I'll wait to drop their names.

More info to come, but to sum up: I've spent the past two years writing a screenplay from my book Austenland with Jerusha Hess. This is not to announce my book has been optioned for a movie. This is to announce that IT IS ON. We're making an indie movie from our screenplay and filming starts NOW.

I gotta go pack for England. Crap. I still don't fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. Thanks for all the congrats. I'm so happy that you're happy too. This is a fantasy for sure. Don't pinch me. I'll leave you with this: only one time in my writing career have I written a character with a specific actor in mind. They were able to cast that very actor for that very part. The name appears in the above list. Can you guess?

By the way, if you were thinking of buying a copy of Austenland on ebook to prepare for the movie, did you know that you can still support your local indie bookstore and buy an ebook? Follow this link to purchase it from my local bookstore, The King's English. (through Google ebooks, for all readers except Kindle) Indie movies, indie bookstores, all good things!