Squeetus exclusive: M.T. Anderson

 Today I have the honor of hosting M.T. Anderson, fresh off from his latest Printz Honor. Tobin is one of my favorite authors, besides being one of my favorite people. Last summer, we were locked up in a room together for two days to rehearse for a readers theater, along with Linda Sue Park and Eric Rohmann, and if you ever have the opportunity to be locked up with three people, I highly recommend those three. Just make certain you supply Tobin with Coke, not Pepsi (or was it the other way around?). My interiew with Tobin might be lacking in some of the depth and dignity due a National Book Award winner. For a truly fascinating interview with M.T. Anderson, check out Seven Impossible Things.

SH: You've written picture book biographies (Strange Mr. Satie), perhaps the best dystopian novel of all time (Feed), a complex and brilliant historical novel (The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Parts 1 and 2), rollicking fun middle reader pulp novels (the Whales on Stilts! books), and some other books I haven't read yet so they don't really count but I have on good authority they are equally amazing, though I can't confirm or deny that at present. You jump from genre to genre like a flea at a dog show (you can borrow that simile sometime if you want, no charge, just make sure you mention me in the acknowledgements) and yet you do each one brilliantly, convincingly, perfect. So, what's the deal, Tobin? You got something to prove? Were you bullied as a kid by some smart-mouthed pre-teen genius who threw a ball at your head and said, "I bet you can't go down that slide head-first and survive OR write a dozen different books in different genres and be brilliant at all of them, so there, poo-poo head!" and you've been trying to prove that kid wrong ever since, especially since after you went down the slide head first you did survive but suffered a severe concussion and to this day still see shiny lights in your periphery and occasionally hear Bob Barker whisper in your ear, "Spin the wheel, Tobin. Spin it!" Is that it?

MTA: Can we just forget the slide? Who told you about the slide? I bet it was that jerk, Milt Barrega.

*drops to his knees and cries to the gathering clouds*

MILT BARREGA! CURSE YOU! ... HOW MANY SWISHIES, SWIRLIES, MONKEY BITES, AND CHARLIE HORSES DID I ENDURE AT YOUR HANDS? HOW MANY WEDGIES, SKUNKERS, KNUCKLE SCRUMS, AND MAR-BELLIES? HOW MANY WALLS OF MY HOUSE DID YOU KNOCK DOWN WITH YOUR CATAPULT, YOUR TREBUCHET?

I thought I had moved on. After all, that was some thirty years ago. He was just a snot-nosed kid. And wiped it on me. I thought I could let bygones be bygones. And then I discover that he tells stories like this to you; that is my bank manager, that he eats at my favorite restaurant, that he sends weird cakes to my wife.

MILT BARREGA! I SHALL SEEK YOU OUT TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH... AND WHEN I CATCH UP TO YOU, AND I SEND YOU HEAD-FIRST SLITHERING DOWN A SLIDE, YOU'LL FIND THE LANDING AIN'T SO SOFT WHERE YOU'RE GOING ... AND THAT IT'S REALLY HOT THERE! At the bottom of the slide! Which I'm sending you down!

And there are devils there. And brimstone and criminals.

I mean, what I'm trying to say is the slide goes down to the Bad Place. Like, that's the joke.

Sorry. Sorry, Milt. I didn't mean it.

Whales on Stilts! is a middle reader book, a parody of (or homage to) the old pulp novels, a great pick for reluctant readers, and uproariously funny. It moves fast and easy, but doesn't skimp on the quality writing. Just listen to this passage: "She, Lily, and Jasper pulled away from all the people who wanted to hear their story, and they stepped over to the railing to watch the sun set over the sea. Around them the potted ferns waved and the seagulls cried. The clouds turned a rich, rumbling kind of red as the sun disappeared. The sky stretched peach above their heads. The wind blew at them." Simple, elegant, evocative. Any writer would gladly offer up various body parts to write like that. So my question is, if I had a potluck BBQ, what dish would you bring?

2. I only know one recipe. Cereal.

Normally, the recipe for cereal is:

INGREDIENTS

cereal

milk

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Pour cereal into bowl

2. Pour milk over cereal (to taste)

But I'm lactose intolerant. So my recipe for cereal is a special one for lactose intolerant people.

INGREDIENTS

Cereal

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Eat cereal.

I'm the life of the party!

Follow up question: Are you free on Saturday?

For you, Shannon, I'm free any time. Wouldn't that be fun, if we could all get together for a BBQ?

PS. Do you prefer Quisp or Count Chocula?

Which Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut, invention would you most like to own and use at will?

Definitely the flying restaurant. I love it there. I would get them to put waffle fries on the menu, and fried zucchini with Russian dressing, and boneless Buffalo fingers. And then they could have a robotic cheesecake dessert cart, with specialty cheese cakes.

 But WAIT A SECOND, I'm lactose intolerant. So I'd be reduced to just staring at the robotic dessert cart longingly.

Even in my own daydreams, I'm frustrated.

You were recently photographed about town:

Clearly this is an original picture and your head was not cut out and put on someone else's body by my husband with mad PhotoShop skills. Ahem. Now besides the fact that you seemed to have gained fifty or sixty pounds since I saw in you June, I'm curious about the shirt. I guess it speaks for itself, but care to elaborate? (Also, is that a gold bracelet you're wearing?)

Wow, that's some photo. By "greatness," I apparently mean, "my great love of baked goods."

Because you're sweet, like them!

Awwwww....

Stop it, I'm blushing! So you see why I vote M.T. Anderson for our favorite literary guy. Don't you want to take him home with you to smile and say witty things and explain string theory and Ulysses? Easy, ladies, he's taken..

Comments

[Maribeth]

Hahaha. This was hilarious. <3

I'm going to have to read his books now. :)

[R.J. Anderson]

This is possibly the greatest interview I have ever read in my life.

And I am not even related to M.T. Anderson (despite any appearance to the contrary), so I can say that with perfect objectivity.

I want a robotic dessert cart for my birthday.

[Scarlet Knight]

Hee hee hee. That was my favorite interview to read...Ever!

hee hee, can't stop laughing.

[hwalk]

Best interview ever. That was really fun.

[Celes]

I'm decidedly weirded out.

But at least I enjoyed myself in the process!

And I can't seem to get enough of those dystopian novels. I'm guessing "Feed" will be moving up to my list of "Books I'm going to buy, despite the fact I have no money."

[Nathan Hale]

AT ALA last year, you introduced me to Mr Anderson. You said "Here's my friend M.T. Anderson, you've read Octavian Nothing, right?" and I said, (slight pause) "YES, I read that book. Of course I did."

It was an astoundingly obvious lie, so bad that I actually got the giggles. I haven't told that particular brand of lie since the 3rd grade, when everyone was talking about how great the new movie Back To The Future was. "Um, yeah. I've seen that movie, of course I have."

So here's to you M. T. Anderson--you made me lie like a 3rd grader, I wanted to impress you that much!

I've now had time to read Octavian Nothing, right?

"Um yeah. I totally did. I read that book."

[Priya]

That's sooo funny, it made me crack up.

[Calliope1of9]

I loved reading that. You guys have great chemistry.

[Katie-wa]

I have that shirt!

[Laura Z M]

Great interview!

Whales on Stilts! splashed into our home on Christmas morning. I haven't read it yet, though. I need to wrestle it away from my daughter...

I've contemplated making a T-shirt like that. But mine would probably say "Shannon Hale inspires my ongoing efforts to rise above the minutia of daily life and do something approaching cool."

[TadMack]

*snicker*
Those mad skillz in Photoshop are way cool!

He is such a fun interview, isn't he?

[Melissa]

Brilliant(ly funny). I really out to read his books...

[Christen]

That was wicked! :D Very funny.

[Donna]

That was the best author interview I've ever read! AND it made me want to check out his books.

Are you selling those shirts? ;)

[Ruby Diamond]

This had me in stitches. :D

[Krystal]

this interview is hilarious! i couldn't stop smiling. :D

[Kristi Stevens]

Ah! M.T. Anderson is my favorite, (aside from you Shannon). He is brilliant. I bow before him. And now I have a serious case of the giggles at that photoshopped image. Love the gold bracelet. Dean Hale is my new favorite graphic guy. Hilarious.

[Maya]

This is the funniest interview I've ever read. Ever.

And I have to say, do you have any of those T-shirts I could borrow? Actually, scratch that. *clears throat*

Do you have any of those T-shirts I could BUY?

[Vicarious Reader]

That is a beautiful and engaging interview. I re-read it six times! Thank You, M.T. Anderson, being a writer so that we could read this interview and being a very fabulous photo-shoppe and Ms. Hale for interviewing said gentleman!

[Janette Rallison]

Hey, I was wondering who stole my T-shirt--and now I know!

[Dr. Sallie N. Cheinsteen]

I laughed so hard, I started to cry. Absolutely hilarious. You know the funny thing?
One day I was on the playground. A redheaded fourth grader was butting me on the slide, keeping me from going on it at all. Over, and over again. So I got MAD. I went up to the boy. I'm a year or so older than him. I say, "You know what? I'm bigger than you, and stronger than you, and I will ride this slide if I want to!" Yeah. No kidding. So you see, this interview totally hit home.

[MILT BARREGA!]

Anderson! The next cake I'm sending your wife will have a pny with a very unfortunate face making rude gestures at grade-schoolers!

And, AND! it'll be mango flavored!

[MILT BARREGA! (and NOT) a poorly spelling Marcus Aurelius, as you might have suspected. No.)]

Pooh. I meant to write "pony", there. Now the impact is just kinda ruined...

This is why I never win National Book awards.

[Christy]

Such funny post! I love the non-PhotoShop picture. LOL, I'm still grinning!

[Miss Erin]

I LOVED THIS. So so genius and funny. :D

[viagra online]

Gravity acting in the hidden dimensions affects other non-gravitational forces such as electromagnetism. In fact, Kaluza's early work demonstrated that general relativity in five dimensions actually predicts the existence of electromagnetism.

[jumping stilts]

Great post! I appreciate all the good information there and will check into this list from time to time and make sure I am staying on track.

[ClubPenguin]

The next cake I'm sending your wife will have a pny with a very unfortunate face making rude gestures at grade-schoolers!

[generic viagra online]

Interesting interview like that.
Never read such type. Like the views. Nice blog.

[generic viagra]

Wow, nice post,
there are many person searching about that now they will find enough resources by your post,

Thanks @@@@

[Replica Lv Bags]

All of the GTA games have been reasonably intense, of course!

[Shop taobao]

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

[Generic Cialis]

Eu só quería comentar e dicir que manter a calidade work.Thanks moito para compartir. Vostede ten feito un traballo brillante. O seu artigo é realmente relevante para o meu estudo neste momento, e estou moi feliz de lelo.