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How to be a reader: The moral of the story is…

An Amazon reviewer of Breaking Dawn, inside a passionate one-star review, explains how the problems Bella faces in the series get resolved in the end and then says, "So, girls don't worry. If you have problems, they will ALL work out. Is that what the author wants to tell her fans?"

Let me clarify that I don’t mean to criticize this particular reviewer or anyone who had problems with that book. I just find this example particularly fascinating and relevant to this discussion.

First of all, as a writer, I never sit down with a story and think, "Let's see, what do I want to teach my fans today?" Now some authors and some books force a message into the book, wrap a moral inside a story and kind of cram it down your throat. These books never work well. (I believe Stephenie Meyer is not that kind of author.) Any message that comes out of a good book will be the reader's call. You read the story, then your understanding, experience, and current need tells you your own personal message. Some might argue that “if you have problems, they will all work out” is a wonderful moral for a book. Others might argue that it’s unrealistic and too pat. It really depends on our personal experience, doesn’t it? Perhaps this reviewer has a current need to have a story express the devastation of life, the out-of-control destruction and confusion, and Breaking Dawn didn't do that for her. There are plenty of books out there that will deliver that message. Breaking Dawn isn't one. The reviewer had a very important, personal reaction to a story that is entirely valid for her, but be fair, it's not going to be valid for everyone. Your needs and reaction are personal--it's unrealistic to expect a book or author to deliver exactly the story you wanted.

Now trickier, I think, is answering this question: Is an author responsible for the morals a reader, especially a young reader, takes from her book?

I can say, I never write toward a moral. But then again, some writers do I read a fantasy trilogy a few years back. The first book was magnificent. But in the third book, I was shocked by how the author so obviously gave a moral to the story. It was a moral that I didn’t agree with, but even if I had, I’m very put off by a novel that asserts any moral. It wrecked the story for me. Later I read an interview with the author where he admitted writing the trilogy with the intent of teaching children about the dangers of x. This was shocking to me, and I think it’s rare. Most novelists are slaves to the story. It’s hard enough to write a book, let alone try to craft what it will mean to every reader and how it should instruct them how to view the world and live their lives. Nevertheless, I know that some writers do write toward a moral.

But whether a writer intends to moralize or not, are we responsible for any morals readers take from our books? I don’t know. In one way, I think writers who write for children especially need to be aware of what we’re saying and take care. On the other hand, I know there’s no possible way I can account for every way someone reads my books.

This has been on my mind recently as I’ve been writing this new book for adults, The Actor and the Housewife. The story centers around a married stay-at-home mother who meets and forms a friendship with a married male actor (and FYI, it’s not an austenland sequel, though it employs a similar narrative style). One of my early readers was concerned about the premise. Am I advocating friendships of married people of opposite genders? Am I encouraging behavior that can lead to adultery? Isn’t that dangerous? I took those concerns very seriously and thought and struggled with them for months. And ultimately I realized that I’m telling a story, and a story needs obstacles and problems. As a writer, I’m never trying to tell anyone how to live or even trying to make statements such as “friendships between married men and women are good!” As a writer, I’m trying to come up with an interesting story, and this story about two very opposite people (opposites in profession, belief, lifestyle, as well as gender) who somehow find common ground was fascinating to me. I’m interested in the characters and their journey, not the summation (I despise writing book summaries, avoid writing my own jacket text, and duck out of ever saying what my books mean). I write the story--the reader decides if there’s a moral. The moral the reader takes may be something about the importance of friendship, and they’ll decide that I am a like-minded and respectable person. Or the reader may read a different moral, such as “married men and woman should risk their marriages in order to be close pals,” and if they disagree with that idea, they could get offended (and write me angry emails). I had to come to the conclusion that the only way to prevent anyone from being offended by my books was to stop writing altogether.

Is J.K. Rowling teaching children how to be witches and wizards? Does Harry Potter encourage children to use swords and hide them in hats? Create secret societies in schools and defy authority? Set up elaborate pranks and drop out of school? Or is it just a story?

Is Stephenie Meyer telling girls that they should fall so deeply in love at age 17 that if their boyfriend leaves them, they should try to commit suicide? (and imitate the events of Breaking Dawn, which I won’t enumerate for spoiler reasons.) Or is it just a story?

Let’s assume that Rowling and Meyer are not moralizing but telling a story for entertainment. Are they still responsible for whatever morals a reader chooses to take? If a boy who read the Harry Potter series decides his principal is evil, sets off fireworks in school, and drops out to start a joke shop, is it Rowling’s fault? If a girl who has read Twilight is so distraught about a break up she attempts suicide, is it Meyer’s fault? (What if the girl has read Rome & Juliet too--is it also Shakespeare’s fault?)

Is the book powerful in and of itself, the carrier of a message that can change a reader’s life? Or is it just a story, and the reader is powerful by deciding if and how the book might change her life?

I think those who worry about what morals these books teach young people can sometimes sell them short. I don’t think young readers believe that they should emulate everything a character does, even if they identify with the character. I believe that they read a book, understand that it’s fiction, and take what they need from it. This doesn’t give writers for young readers free license to write dangerous and damaging stories, but I for one am not comfortable assigning where those lines are that we shouldn’t cross. I’ve talked about this before, but all I can do is try to live the best way I know how, and hope that as I try to write good stories that please my internal reader, good things will come through for other readers.

I don’t have absolute answers to these questions. But when I read, I try to assume that the other author, like me, isn’t trying to cram in a moral, but just trying to tell a story. And the power of moral is in my hands as the reader, whether to just enjoy the ride or find some nugget of truth that I can apply to my own life. For me, this attitude has created less stressful and more honest reading.

So the moral of this story is, when you assume, you turn the end of a verb into two pronouns. Or something. I’m interested in your thoughts on this sticky topic.

Three things that are just wrong

1. From a page in my son's counting book:
Let's count body parts! You have
1 head
1 nose
1 mouth
2 eyes
2 hands
9 fingers
10 toes

2. My neighbor Autumn Goodwin recently had her third baby. She woke her husband in the middle of the night believing she was in labor. They got the kids out of bed and took them to a relative's house, but suddenly the labor was much more intense. He hurried to the hospital and drove up to the emergency entrance.
"My wife's having a baby!" he said.
The orderly sighed, having dealt with many easily excited husbands and labors that last all day. He said, "Take a wheelchair and go bring her in."
The husband grabbed a wheelchair, rushed back to the car, and found his wife holding the baby. Yes, she delivered her own baby by herself alone in the car.
So I was talking to her about it on Sunday. "I saw an article last week about a 7-year-old child who helped deliver her mom's baby, and I thought, at least she had help! They should write an article about you."
Autumn laughed and told me that her mother phoned The Deseret News, Utah's largest newspaper, to tell them the story. Their reaction was, "We like it better when there's a hero who steps in and helps deliver the baby." They weren't interested in the story. Because there was no hero.
Um...excuse me? What about Autumn? Wasn't she the hero? Delivering her own baby? It's only an extraordinary story if someone helps the mother, but when a mother does something remarkable on her own then it's no good?
And I find myself incredibly pleased that in our story of Rapunzel, she gets herself out of the tower.

3. Stretch pants. (Perhaps I should specify--me in stretch pants. But no, I think I'll let that stand. Stretch pants.)

And at least one thing that is oh-so-right: our early autumn weather. Heaven!

Secrets in paper

I should mention that river secrets, with its shiny new cover, is now out in paperback in the US. There are extras in the back matter, including the first few pages of forest born. Or what were the first few pages back in June. It's changed mightily now. But you'll still get a general idea from it. I'm sorry for those of you who purchased goose girl and enna burning in paper and were waiting for rs to come out in paper too for a matching set. There won't be a paperback of rs with the same cover as the hardcover. It stinks, I know. These things are out of my control. The hope is that new covers will attract new readers that didn't pick up the books based on the old covers, and I'm very grateful to my publisher for caring enough about these books to repackage them. 

A few recent tidbits for the interested. An interview with about.com

Interview with girl-wonder.org about rapunzel's revenge, which is their frontpage September Reading Recommendation 

Newsarama interview with me, Dean, and Nate.

I'll be in Austin for the Texas Festival of Books in early November. More "How to be a reader" topics coming up, as well as squeetus exclusive author interviews. And some semi-official release dates: the actor and the housewife, my new novel for adults (ala austenland) will be out in May/June '09, and forest born (Bayern #4) October '09.

Also, I removed my toenail polish three weeks ago and still haven't painted them again. I have bare naked toes. K, now I'm clearly stalling so I don't have to (get to!) go back to work on forest born. Some days it's awesome! And some days...I blog about my toenails.

How to be a reader: Reviewing the review

When I didn’t like a book that others loved, I feel dumb. I wonder, what's wrong with me? Sometimes I'll go to amazon and read other reviews. The positive reviews help me to see what I was missing, but it’s nice for me to read the negative reviews too, just to see if anyone else had the same problems I did with the story. I personally never write negative reviews--if I don't like a book, I just don't review it, because there's enough to laud out there and I just don't groove with lots of negativity in my life. But I have found it comforting to read when others saw a story the same way I did. I think we’re all vulnerable creatures in some ways and don’t want to be alone. But it would be a mistake if I assumed that my negative reading of the book was the only valid one.

In the same vein, when I love a book, I like to go out and see what praise others are singing for it. I love to enjoy a book with others who felt the same way. The internet provides a wonderful platform for community, for finding other like minds.

It also creates an anonymity that makes it easy to act in a very different way than we would face-to-face. I've never yet experienced a rude fan who would come to me in person and say, "You suck. Your books are boring, I hate them..." and so on. And yet I've had a few emails or blog comments to that effect. For the emailer/commenter, it probably feels fairly innocuous because they're anonymous, just writing words on a screen. But on my end, the effect is the same as if someone had yelled that to my face. We're still figuring out this whole internet and email business, I think, but whenever we forget that those  usernames out there are fellow human beings, it's time to pull back and reevaluate. I would suggest this life code: never put into writing what you wouldn't say to someone's face. And after that: it might be time to question what you're willing to say to someone's face.

So, are negative reviews of a book important?

I’d say, yes. When I was younger, I didn’t feel like I had permission to dislike a book. If my teacher assigned a book, it was understood that this was a GREAT book. And if I didn’t like it, I felt ashamed and wondered what was wrong with me. I now believe that the reading experience is not all about the book or the reader, but a responsibility shared equally by both [see here and here]. So in some ways, I think it’s wonderful that people, especially young people, have a forum like the internet to express their opinions and learn to trust their own judgment. But the forum ceases to have value if we aren’t using this opportunity to learn how to express opinions in a productive way.

First let’s look at the purpose of reviews. Who is a book review for?

In my opinion, a book review is most assuredly not for the author. Never, in no way, absolutely not. Did I mention that it’s not? ‘Cause it’s not. I’ve blogged about this before, but for some this may be an alarming declaration. So lemme ‘splain.

Negative reviews are not helpful to a writer. Not everyone is going to like what you write, and there is no possible way to write something that will appeal to everyone's tastes. We're all individuals. A writer has to write a book to herself. That doesn't mean that writers shy from criticism. The rewrite process I go through with all my books would've made me weep and curl up into fetal position when I wasn't used to it. Many people read my manuscripts, including my editor, and with each draft give pages of notes about what is wrong with it and what doesn't work. I myself am a harsh editor of my own work. I spend months and years searching for ways I've failed with the story and for ways to improve it. I consider every criticism of the manuscript very seriously. It's an arduous, often painful, and completely essential process for writing the best book possible. The positive outcome of this torture is that by time each of my books is published, I feel very confident that it was the absolute best I could do and the story that I wanted to tell.

Although I’m pleased with it, not everyone will be. While negative reviews are inevitable, they're not instructive to the writer. At the worst, it throws me off, shakes my confidence so that writing that day or week is very hard. That's not the reviewer's fault, it's mine, but it may be why some writers avoid all reviews (I read what comes my way but don’t seek them out). It may be important for that reviewer to express their opinion, but that opinion is not helpful to me personally. The book is already published, there's nothing I can do to change it, and most likely I wouldn't change it if I could. I wrote the book that I wanted to read. Besides, I couldn't possibly listen to everyone. What some people loved, others hated. When people tell me things they don't like about my books, all I can do is acknowledge that they have every right to have that reaction, and then move on.

But doesn’t the negative review count as constructive criticism and help me improve as a writer for my future books? No, it doesn’t. This may be harder to explain. The writer Gene Wolfe said something like, “You never learn how to write a book--you only learn to write the book you're writing.” Writing a book (a unique book, not a formula book) is so complicated, I never learn how to do it. I’m struggling right now writing my tenth book as much as I did with my first. Post-publication criticism of river secrets, for example, isn't helpful to me in writing forest born. The criticism that applies to one doesn’t work for the other. It only serves to make me feel stupid. I've received some emails from (former) readers who were clearly not trying to give helpful feedback but rather doing their best to hurt me. It's not fun. I'm not sure why people do that. I guess they're hurting and they think they'll feel better if they hurt back. But those cases are rare--I believe the majority of negative feedback is meant well. However, I the author am not the ideal audience for it.

Positive reviews are not helpful to a writer, either. Strange perhaps, but true! I’m not going to lie to you--positive reviews absolutely lift my spirits and can give me new confidence to keep going with the book I’m working on at the moment. It is so lovely to see that the project I bled and sweated over is well received and discovered by like minds. And when the praise is born of kindness, those positive feelings are quite buoyant and can help me through rough patches. But it doesn’t actually make me a better writer. The praise is for a project already completed, and what I did well then doesn’t apply to what I’m doing now. Too much praise can turn into a burden, as with many writers who receive major awards for a book and then lose their confidence and don’t write another for fear of not measuring up. Don’t get me wrong--I’m not counseling you to stop writing positive reviews of beloved books or sending fan email to your favorite authors. This information isn’t meant for the reviewers, but the authors--never believe your own press. Both positive and negative reviews are inevitable for a published book, and authors know that we have to work to try to balance all that and not take in too much of either, lest we sink.

So, if a review is not meant for the writer of the book, then who?

Other readers, of course! (You knew that already, you are so smart.) [EDIT: Here I'm discussing personal reviews, such as anyone can post on amazon. Reviews in professional publications are often for librarians, booksellers, etc., as commenter Jen points out.] Potential readers can see if the book sounds like something they might like. Those who have already read the book can use the review to open up a discussion, discover nuances they missed, and so on. A review can turn the intimate experience of reading into a conversation that enlightens both sides.

That is, when it is a conversation. Here let me offer a second life code: try to express opinions as just that: opinions. And respectfully allow for disagreement. It hurts when people hate a book we loved. It feels like they don't just hate the book but hate us too. A loved book is so closely tied to our hearts, our personalities, when someone condemns that book it feels like they’re condemning us as people.

At the same time, it feels lousy when a book we abhor, others adore. It can make us feel like outsiders, idiots. And worse if we don’t like a book and those fans of it tell us we’re dumb for disliking it. We’re not dumb--just different. And no need to try and make the others feel dumb either. Say there’s a guy who has a crush on you, but you just don’t like him. Does that mean he’s unworthy of love, unlovable, and that anyone else who likes him is an idiot? Of course not! You two weren’t right together, but surely you’ll be happy for him if he finds love elsewhere. I think that metaphor works rather well, actually. I think it’s so important to acknowledge that every reading experience is unique--no book exists in a vacuum. A story is half the book, half the reader. We can claim our own reading experience and still allow others theirs.

To sum up: book reviews are intended for fellow readers; writers must work to, keep ourselves unaffected by both positive and negative reviews; and acknowledging opinion and expressing it respectfully on or offline will make the warm and fuzzies multiply like tribbles. So, tribble away, my friends. Tribble away.

Two degrees from Kevin Bacon

[EDIT: I just changed the title of this post to what it should have been all along. It's been bugging me for weeks!]

Ah, for 36 hours in a day. I was so pooped yesterday, I actually went to bed at 8:30 and slept nearly 12 hours. Yeesh.

New York was great! I don't have, shall we say, a wide wardrobe to choose from, so my fabulous publicist Deb accompanied me shopping on Thursday, and guess who came along?

It was a Torso Twins reunion! Now, it would appear that Libba Bray and I have the exact same hair color. I'm not saying which if us got it first...It was awesome to see Miss Libba again. And I got to have dinner with Cassandra Clare to boot.

Friday morning I got up early to get ready for the show, then we walked from our hotel to the Rockafeller Center. It was windy. My hair twisted up into a matted mess and stuck firmly to my lip gloss. I was wearing a skirt and flashed all of New York regularly. Deb said, "Don't worry, this city has seen a lot worse."

At the studio, they ushered me into makeup an hair, and everything I'd tried to do was redone. It was fun to be glammed up professionally. We were in the green room and there was Kevin Bacon, being talked at incessantly by someone I imagine he didn't know, so I didn't get a chance to tell him how much I enjoyed his work on Philadelphia Chickens. Kenny Loggins was there too. I just admired from afar.

Here are Dean and I with the book club kids. They were awesome, 6th and 7th graders, and real pros at all this. Charlie in the middle was eager to wear Mindy Hale's fabulous Rapunzel wig. He wore it on the show, though I don't think they ever explained what the wig was, so I wonder if viewers at home were a mite confused.

Al Roker was friendly and great. The studio was small, the kids were all pros, it was easy to lean back and relax. I didn't feel nervous at all. The best part was being there with my honey, who was completely unruffled, as usual. You can view the video on Nathan Hale's blog.

After I went to Bloomsbury's office, where they had a lovely reception, and then my agent took us to lunch (Indian--way yum), and with my professionally done hair and makeup and new clothes and all, I was feeling so New York, so Author, so It's My Special Day. Then we said goodbye and went to hail a cab to the airport...

45 minutes later, see Shannon and Dean, recent Today show stars and celebrated authors, soaking wet in a New York downpour--hair wet, clothes wet, luggage soaked, and no cab willing to go to JFK. Time ticked forward and we gave up, taking the subway. If ever I get too close to taking myself seriously or thinking I'm special, it's inevitable. Life will gently remind me. All for the best.

The event at the Purple Cow in Tooele was great. I may have pictures later. But I want to get back to our previous conversation track, as soon as I get time. Now back to Rin...

(she speaks in an aside)

I hate to interrupt the flow of these conversations, but I wanted to mention that Dean and I are leaving tomorrow for New York and we'll be on NBC's Today on Friday morning. I'm told it will be around 9:30 am for both eastern and mountain time. (This appearance is for rapunzel's revenge, our new graphic novel for young readers.) All I hear about Al Roker is that he's a completely wonderful and genuine person. Fingers crossed that Al will be willing to wear the fabulous Rapunzel braids wig that Mindy Hale made. What a photo op.

We'll be at The Purple Cow bookstore in Tooele, Utah on Saturday, and after we get back, I'll continue with part 4 (and 5?). You're all being so indulgent of me. It's been nice to get down in writing things I've been thinking about for the last few years and to hear your thoughts.

And in celebration of our newest baby, I leave you with a rapunzel's revenge-inspired limerick by Laura Middleton.

A Plea from Rapunzel

Oh, my! To be tied I am fitted.
That witch should be gagged and committed.
I plead with each Hale,
Write me out of this tale;
That pretty-faced prince is dim-witted.

How to be a reader: How becoming an author changed me as a reader

Speculation

Recently I attended a neighborhood book club (my first). We read a book by a male author writing a female main character. It was in my opinion a wonderful book and deservedly a best seller. It was full of warmth and insight into the human condition, and written skillfully. There was one scene that really stuck out to me, though, because the main character acted in a way I couldn't account for, a way that was very different than her past behavior. I brought up this scene with the ladies to ask why they thought the author wrote that scene. One of the ladies said, "Well, he's a man. He probably just doesn't understand women."

She certainly meant no harm, but for some reason I was so smacked by that I couldn't even respond. The book was well done--surely we owed the author enough to assume he made that choice with thought and  purpose. I realized that in book clubs across the country, my choices were likely summarily dismissed. Every time I've read a review of one of my books from a dissatisfied reader and they've speculated why I failed with that book, their assumptions have been completely wrong. I've encountered this dozens of times, but here are just a couple of examples:

Speculation: "Austenland stinks. Shannon Hale clearly rushed through this one."
Truth: I worked on that book for seven years, my longest period for one book, and didn't try to sell it until I had it rewritten and polished to where I was satisfied with it.
Speculation: "Shannon Hale is jumping on the graphic novel bandwagon when it's popular to try and cash in."
Truth: We started working on rapunzel's revenge years ago, when I had no idea children's publishers were interested in graphic novels and would soon be publishing them. And this is no cash cow. We split royalties with the illustrator, so I'll earn half as much as I do with my prose novels. It truly was a labor of love.

For me, the kindest and also most honest way of living is to give people the benefit of the doubt. Say you happen to love three books by an author but not her fourth. There are many people who love it, and others who don't. The fact that some people love it seems to suggest that the book didn't fail utterly--just with some readers. That doesn't change the fact that it didn't jive with you, and that's okay. But why not just assume that the writer still did her best by her own internal reader? After all, given the history, that's the most likely conclusion, and it's also the kinder one.

Kindness aside, giving authors the benefit of the doubt makes us better readers. Instead of dismissing a scene or character or plot device that rubs us wrong, we might ask, Why did the author make that choice? Reading it as a carefully intended choice rather than as a mistake gives us the chance to explore the story and discover connections and wisdom we might have otherwise tossed aside. When I haven't loved a book, I really enjoy talking with someone who did and hearing how they read it. Quite often, my opinion changes about the book. My own reading experience with it wasn't great, but seeing it from someone else's perspective helps me appreciate it after the fact.

Don't believe everything you read

Often people will blog about a book event after the fact. Almost every time I've read on a blog what other people reported  I said, it's been wrong. Sometimes very wrong. "There's no way I said that, I don't even believe that!" I don't think any of the bloggers were trying to misquote me. They heard and took from my comments what they wanted or needed to hear, and then wrote that down, believing it was accurate. This is very common. It has taught me to be very skeptical about second hand (and especially third hand) reporting.

By the same token, please hesitate before judging me or my books by something I said in an interview. They are quite often not to be trusted. I wish I could only do written interviews, so I could make sure the words truly are what I spoke. Magazines and newspapers often do phone or live interviews. Sometimes we'll talk for an hour and they'll whittle it down to a couple of minutes worth of information. Often they ask leading questions, trying to get you to say something sensational or to speak to the topic they want to write about. This was especially common when austenland came out. Everyone had opinions about why Austen was still read and why the continued craze. They wanted me to say something to support their own opinion, so they would toss out 90% of what I said and quote the part that worked for their story (and usually not word-for-word since it was over the phone and they didn't record me, just took notes). I don't mean to cast blame--this is just how it works. But again, it's taught me that when I hear second hand something troubling that someone says, to take with a grain of salt, especially when I've had cause to respect that person in the past.

Copy editing

When I turn in my polished manuscript, it then goes to a copy editor, who checks it for grammatical errors, typos, etc. We depend on them to be thorough, but sometimes they're sadly not. After we fix all the found errors, the manuscript gets typeset. In the transfer from, say, a Microsoft Word document to  Quark, scads of errors happen. It's inevitable. Another copy editor is supposed to go through it again and correct those errors. Some are better at their job than others. The author has no direct control over this part of the process. Sadly, it's my name on the cover, and I'm accountable for all the errors in a book, whether or not I caused them. Understanding how it works has made me much more sympathetic to authors whose books are riddled with typos and such.

Next post: reviewing books. And for those interested, I commented on the previous post with my POV about a certain leaked manuscript.

How to be a reader: Author responsibility

Well, I think the last post and the comments that followed were a perfect example to illustrate what I was talking about. We had over 100 comments (many were deleted due to their inflammatory nature) presenting many diverse opinions. Some said they'd never read my books but based on that post were going to now. At least one former fan said he/she was a fan no more based on the same thing. Some said they loved the post, some said it was boring and pointless. Some agreed vehemently, others disagreed just as vehemently. And everyone was responding to the exact same words. That's the power of personal interpretation.

And on to part 2, which many of you vigilante readers have guessed, is about the author's responsibility. Hopefully glimpsing my side of the equation will edify and enrich your own reading experience.I'm going to lay out my own opinion. Feel free to agree or disagree, but I ask you do so respectfully and without attacking me, other commenters, or any other party. If you have loads to say, it might work best to post it on your own blog and put a briefer comment here with a link to your blog. And please remember, no spoilers, though I don't know why that would come up in this topic.

So, does an author have a responsibility to her fans?

First off, in my opinion, a writer/reader relationship cannot and should not be subject to the same kinds of rules in a business relationship. In business, you are always thinking about the client, trying to figure out what the market wants and needs, working to keep the customer happy. This is smart business. But in any creative art, trying to follow that model would not only be quixotic but dishonest. Does anyone really want art that is created purely to please the masses? I think about Dark Knight, a movie hugely popular with both fans and critics. That was made from a unique vision. It was written and directed by an artist and went against many movie conventions of that genre. It worked not because it was designed to please the masses, following previous conventions, but because it followed the writer/director’s unique vision. We've all seen movies that are make with a board room mentality, and they stink. In creative arts, we don’t want to be pandered to by someone trying desperately to please us in order to get our money.

I think I have talked about this before, but there is no way that I can think about fans when I write. I don't write for my fans. I would be absolutely terrified of putting down a single word if I tried to think about what my fans wanted or what I owe them as an author. I cannot write to anyone outside myself--if I tried, it would be a horrible story, flat and lifeless. I write to myself. That's the only person I'm trying to please. And if that sounds like a cop-out, please understand that I am my own toughest critic. No one could be harder on me, my writing style, my storytelling ability, my ideas, anything, than I am on myself. I am ruthless (often painfully so--ask my husband). And I have a tough editor and others who read for me. I take their feedback extremely seriously and I rewrite myself to death. It's the only insurance I have against the inevitable criticism that follows any book publication.

Every professional novelist I know feels the same way--we have to write to ourselves and shut off the outside voices. If any writer claims to write to her fans first, I would be first, skeptical, and second, wary. We've probably all read books that aren't written to the author's internal reader, and they have that board room feel, more like an advertisement than true story. Books like that just don't work.

Now that doesn't mean I don't hope that I please my fans. I do. Desperately. Embarrassingly so, perhaps. And if I was really sure what my fans wanted out of a story, even if it wasn't what I wanted, I'd be tempted to write it to them. I've learned, however, that you can never know. As a writer, you have to trust yourself. That is so hard to do, but an absolute necessity. On example: when I wrote Princess Academy, I was pretty sure no one would like it, especially the ending. But I worked very hard to turn off those fears and the desire to second guess what readers want, and I wrote it to my internal reader. I remember doing book signings when it first came out and trying to talk people out of buying it, suggesting they read Goose Girl instead. Now, as I mentioned last post, Princess Academy has turned out to be my most popularly successful, as well as critically lauded, book. If I'd tried to write to the fans, or to what I thought the fans wanted, that book would have fallen flat on its face and disappeared. And it was also possible that the story that pleased my internal reader wouldn't please anyone else. But that was the risk I had to take.

I owe it to myself to write the very best story possible. If I mess up, it's my name on the book, not my fans'. I'm the one who has to live with my mistakes and regret them every day and cringe at the thought of people reading them. It will be my humiliation.

Besides the humiliation factor, there is profound motivation for an author to always do her best. Say I publish a book that I rush through, that I don't feel good about but I think, well, I'm feeling lazy this year, it's good enough. Ack! (Really, even the thought of that makes sensations of cold run down my legs.) Then my fans will be disappointed and won't buy any more of my books. If I have a hope in maintaining a career, I need to keep doing my best, never taking it for granted, working just as hard on each book, and trying to live as best I can, being a genuine person, opening myself up to people and to new ideas, reading good books, and in every way nurturing my internal reader so I can keep telling good stories. Other professional novelists I know feel the same way.

I know it's a risk reading a book. You're being asked to trust an author in order to fall into a story. In the hands of a good writer, that can be an amazing experience. In the hands of a lousy writer, that can feel violating. (And by "good" I mean "good for your own internal reader" and "bad" I mean "bad for your own internal reader". There is no way I could brand any book or writer as good or bad in any absolute terms.) But happily in our world we have libraries, and the reader can sample for free most any book without having to pay for it. No one is obligated to buy in order to read. That alone, I think, hugely affects the writer/reader dynamic. (FYI--if your library doesn’t have a book you want to read, you can request that they order it.)

In the reading relationship, the reader has as much power as the writer, I believe. You choose the stories you want to read, you choose how quickly you read, when you read, if you keep reading, if you reread. You visualize the characters, the story, the sounds and smells and feelings. You take lifeless words and bring them to life. You're like the director of the movie, taking the raw words of a script and blowing them up into full color on the screen. To a large extent, a movie viewer is merely a witness to the story, but a reader is a participant in the story. This is what makes reading such a profoundly intimate experience, so unique reader-to-reader, and also so powerful.

Now I can only speak for myself, but I can tell you I never publish a book that hasn't gone through the ringer until it absolutely pleases my internal reader. That's the only guarantee I can give you--that I am happy with this book. I have no idea if you will be. When a reader doesn't like a book from an author whose previous books they adored, often speculation ensues: well, she must have cut corners, she must have been lazy, she worked hard on those other books but this one she let flop. I think these speculations are only natural, but they are also fundamentally flawed. If the author says this too is a book born from her internal reader and the best one she could create, then I think it wise to accept that. She's done her part, she's done her best. And the readers don't have to like it or ever buy another book of hers again. But in my opinion, that relationship has been fulfilled. It's very sad for both parties when the fan is dissatisfied, but that's how it works in the creative arts. (More on speculation next post in part 3…)

As writers, we take frightening risks in writing something people might despise, but we put it out there and hope for the best. Readers too take risks whenever we turn ourselves over to an artist's vision. Sometimes we’re disappointed, but in my opinion, it's worth the risk.

So, I write to my internal reader--you read to see if my internal reader and your internal reader are kindred spirits. If they're not, we go our separate ways. If they are, then what connection, what serendipity, what joy! We get to tell a story together.